Syr and i got in a particularly painful session with Her belt this morning. Syr made contact a little lower than usual, on my thigh rather than my ass. i screeched, (not meaning to,) but i still took another one. So that was a three strike session, i am hoping we can try the quick bursts of play every two hours like She suggested. i am ever hopeful.
my head feels so much clearer and freer since writing my blog yesterday. i have been realizing, more and more than any cold/dry spells in our play has been purely my doing. Because i have not been in a good space, or as i like to call it "my head up my ass." i am beginning to see that my Wife is actually who She always claimed to be: Supportive, trusting, calm, always believing in me. It has been me, for five years, that has refused to see that. The more i stop listening to the incessant voices of my past in my head, the freer i am, the truer to my self i am.
i weighed myself today, and i am higher than i have been in quite some time. Yet, i have more self, and body confidence than i have ever had before. So although i am concerned, i am trying to exercise a little, and eat right. We are meeting my cousin and a dear friend for lunch, so i hope i do all right.
10 years ago
