The Start Of A Lovely Day

   Syr and i got in a particularly painful session with Her belt this morning. Syr made contact a little lower than usual, on my thigh rather than my ass. i screeched, (not meaning to,) but i still took another one. So that was a three strike session, i am hoping we can try the quick bursts of play every two hours like She suggested. i am ever hopeful. 

   my head feels so much clearer and freer since writing my blog yesterday. i have been realizing, more and more than any cold/dry spells in our play has been purely my doing. Because i have not been in a good space, or as i like to call it "my head up my ass." i am beginning to see that my Wife is actually who She always claimed to be: Supportive, trusting, calm, always believing in me. It has been me, for five years, that has refused to see that. The more i stop listening to the incessant voices of my past in my head, the freer i am, the truer to my self i am. 

   i weighed myself today, and i am higher than i have been in quite some time. Yet, i have more self, and body confidence than i have ever had before. So although i am concerned, i am trying to exercise a little, and eat right. We are meeting my cousin and a dear friend for lunch, so i hope i do all right.

Another Party Day!

   Today Syr and i are having a BBQ party. But it's kind of skewered. And once again, my irritation is on the razor's edge. The party was originally being held for someone who demanded her party be at our house because we have more space. Yet this is someone we don't consider a friend since she never makes time for us, or even follows up on phone calls. We like her partner a lot though. i feel she is stuck in the middle. That is why Syr and i decided to throw the party. This arrogant woman texts yesterday that she is no longer coming to the party, but we can still have one. Why thank you, so much for the permission! i know that's rude, but some people! So Syr and i instead decided to invite a couple people we have really wanted to get to know better for quite some time. And i am excited. These two women are very laid back, whip-smart, and funny as hell. i think it will be a terrific party.

   my edge, however, has not been terrific. i have been irritated, and snapping at Syr all morning, just because She mauls me, bites me, or just has fun with me. i have had such attitude for two days now, but unlike yesterday, i have been very ambitious with the preparations for tonight. i feel awful, and i know i need to talk to Syr. Whereas my service is perfect, my affection, and attitude suck. i need some guidance. Syr made a tasty, oh-so-nutritious meal of stuffing for lunch, and so i am going to eat and discuss...