So much pain, and none left to enjoy

So i am on day 7, (that's sev-ven,) of hysterecotmy recovery. This morning was a blessed event: struggling (as usual,) to get out of bed was met with discomfort, and tightness. None of the agonizing, constant pain i have had since the 22nd. However, there are always seems to be a catch, and now i have annoying lower back pain. i keep cursing myself, because i made the appointment for surgery in July. With the mindset, "oh happy day! now i can loose 30 or so pounds, i will be well on my way to lookin great, and the healing time will just be fantastic!" Well, even the best laid plans sometimes die, especially drowning in cookies, or Wendy's bacon cheeseburgers. So, i entered surgery at the same weight i was in July. Maybe i should just be freaking happy it wasn't 30 pounds heavier. How crap-tas-tic! 

But all grouchiness aside, i am pleased healing has been going along with the schedule. i am NOT however pleased with the communication system at the hospital. Since July, i must have been asked 60 million times, "What are you allergic to?" And all 60 million times i said "Latex." (i know, how sucky for me!) And then said nurses, techs, and Adorable Gynocologist all said the same thing: "Make sure you tell, blah, blah, or blah." The day of my surgery, i specifically asked my said Adorable GYN, "We're using non-Latex stuff, right?" To which said GYN repsonded, "Yup, it's all set." 

So i roll through surgery, comeout in recovery 100% positive i missed my surgery, and i ended up in the wrong one, an was sent home within 12 hours since i could do everything i was supposed to be able to do after surgery with flying colors. My mom was there, and she looked a bit alarmed, but i trust Adorable GYN with all that's in me, and that moment it was lots of awesome pan killers. Hell, i was Wonder Woman. Lemme fly home!

Fast forward two days later. The waterproof band-aids on my stomach have been giving me irritating itching spasms that i cannot do anything about because i refuse to look at my boo-boo's, and i don't want to squirm. Finally, there was nothing else i could do. i took the mothers off. And there, to my dee-light, (note, here is the heavy sarcasm!) were giant, bright red rectangles! In three spots, blazing as if they were under a neon lights causing them to shine even more. But this time, my Latex allergy, which they always eventually do, starts to step itself up a notch. This time, not only did they itch, but they burned. Not a "i'm on fire, Lord Jesus save me," kinda burn, but a very painful, stinging burn. Needless to say, being in pain, having not lost 30 pounds, already wearing humungous sweat pants that still were tight, plus the sweaty, stinging, burning welts, this little girl was not a happy camper. my Wifey, bless her heart, was sweet and upbeat, but quite honestly, it took everything in me not to start killing people, and burn cars. But i never would have gotten away with it; my gait was about my 83 year old grandfathers speed, which is no speed at all. 

Even though it was conveinent to have surgery during school brake, what was not convenient, was have a Wife struggling with breathing and conciousness due to Bronchitis. She is not an early riser anyway, so i would have to wait until 10:30 for any breakfast, a drink, or to talk. i was thinking if i have had surgery, shouldn't You be helping me-at my timetable? But i didn't say that, because i know Wifey was doing Her bestest. So i learned to do stuff for myself, in all it's annyoingly painful facets, and quite frankly, i don't feel the better girl for it, i want to be coddled, one good coddling for the road before this gig dies out.

The hardest part is we can't even cuddle. i can't snuggle up next to Wifey because any pressure hurts. And if Wifey leans up against me, i go insane- and not with excitement. So, we have been having the traditional "Ricky & Lucy" bedroom life. Gaaaaak.

i have been frustrated wishing i could be of more use to my Wife-taking care of Her, cleaning up the house (which by the way, is NOT looking good,) and just falling into the role i have been enjoying. At first, even with the amount of excruciating pain i was in, i still garnered some comfort, delight, and happiness from it. Mostly because i have needed this surgery for a very long time, and also, my Wife and i had been getting into play again, so this was a sweet replacement until She could touch me again. i don't know though, maybe there are stronger submissives and slaves than me, who can take agonizing pain for a week or more. i say to them, "Good Job!" and then i think, "Heeey, there's a swell goal for a nice girl like me to set her eyes on!" And i don't think Wifey would have a problem with that. At all.